Tomb Invader
Tomb Raider has featured in reviews by anybody. Here, we review the pirated tomb raider partly due to the fact that it is a cheap knock-off. For all that I am a fan of the wayward studio The Asylum, I have to concede this one is not good at all. Quite a few of their films are parasite this one, for example, was clearly intending to capitalize on the Tomb Raider reboot: I can see how this could have worked in some instances.
Specifically, hire an athlete Jessie Graff would work great, but a parkour background would suffice at lower cost, and do it without fancy bells and whistles but CGI. Something like the heroine acts like an entirely real person and does real-looking impressive running, jumping, and climbing in the actual cinematics. [Call me, David Michael Latt! Let’s talk…] Instead, four actors appear for the first four sections of the film, walking about the woods for 80 minutes and arguing about nothing. The show ends with five minutes of action that are modestly entertaining.
It should be pointed out, however, that Vitori’s character, an archaeology lecturer with the unlikely name of Ally (short for Alabama) is just as much a clone of an Indiana Jones rip-off as the Tomb Raider series. There’s a sequence in the early parts of the game reminiscent of Indiana Jones’ pursuit while escaping from a giant rolling boulder except that the boulder in question is quite literally an enormous spiked ball and chain. There’s the main plot of looking for an artifact known as the Heart of the Dragon.
This is, as one may guess, the object that Ally’s mother died searching for in China two decades ago. As Gloria Mapother’s diary comes into play, it is the Chinese or at least, the stock clips of China, before cutting to a sylvan setting that has nothing to do with China that the protagonist, Ally, is taken to, via Tim Parker who is a billionaire. He has employed Ally’s competitor, Nathan, and indeed it is the difference in tomb raiding, pardon the term, attitudes that is responsible for the squabbling mentioned before.
The inertia appears to be the most painful one. The ones who chase the benefits still rush through the forest as one would take an elderly person through a garden. However, upon reaching the site of the artifact, further traps are unleashed and no one is in a rush to leave the area. Even after one of the colleagues is scared off, this whole scene does not evoke any sort of feelings. The victim was dependent and served no purpose until that moment and when fittingly required, talking was painful to the ears. The first and second parts of the decent original pictures were not very good but compared to this sickly weak copy, they seem like masterpieces.
At one point, yes, Vitori may feel the character. She does not, however, self-implode during the few action scenes that she has. I did like the sequence where a terracotta statue came to life and had to be fought: it’s exactly the kind of thing I expected to see from this. It requires an additional hour long of such cutting sequences rather than the tedious sitting and needless conversations in the jungle. But given the fact that this has probably been made at a fraction of the cost incurred for Alicia Vikander’s eyebrow grooming creams, this could have been worse or better rather.
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