This is a very interesting film that recently caught my attention. It was introduced to me as a Filipino–made Mad Max clone directed by Cirio H. Santiago, who helmed such of my favorite drive-in flicks as TNT Jackson, Vampire Hookers and The Big Bird Cage. It would be his final film and it’s produced by Roger Corman! This should have been awesome!
The story takes place on an Earth set in the future after some kind of apocalypse where water has become the most precious commodity. Oceans and rivers have dried up and warlords control their sections of land by hoarding it and giving it out as they please. One of these warlords is Bane (Michael Madsen) who captures a beautiful blonde lady with a tattoo designating her, according to legend, as belonging to a tribe with a pure natural spring. Bane then tortures her so she will tell him where it is.
Another beautiful blonde gets into a bar fight and is saved by Slade (Daniel Baldwin). He’s our good guy/mercenary for hire. She offers him as much water as he wants to save her sister (the other blonde). So, he puts together his own team of mercenaries to do just that; which they do only to be betrayed by the guy you knew was going to betray them all along! So now Bane and the boys show up planning on attacking Slade’s new friends when Slade saves the day but then some sad shit happens but then it rains! On a planet that is supposedly all desert but whatever, because it gives us this really cool dramatic shot at the end!
If that sounds like there isn’t much plot here that’s because there really isn’t. This movie is filled with footage from other movies! According to IMDB, there are FOUR movies cut into this one! Almost none of the action sequences are new shots! And most of what we do get doesn’t match! This includes a bit with characters that have nothing to do with this story and never get names! Some of the reused footage is from an earlier film which this is supposed to be a remake of!!! What happened? I think I found out.
The reason for this little project’s random stock footage lies in the fact that Santiago only got to work on it for a few days before falling ill. Jim Wynorski was then brought in to finish the job. Now, I like Jim but I don’t think he had much (if anything) to work with here. As if that wasn’t cause enough for concern, his name isn’t anywhere on the credits (at least not that I saw!) so it would seem even he disowned this one!
Also, I couldn’t help but notice that Santiago himself had sadly died six years prior to this film’s release, which means it sat around for a while and it shows too. This has all the markings of a movie made up by some studio execs in order to try and make back at least some of their money after learning they funded what was probably always a surefire flop.
Now, I know this review hasn’t told you much about Water Wars as an actual film. That’s because it isn’t one! This incoherent mess of cobbled together excerpts does not feel like a movie at all! And if there were any doubt as to where I stood on Water Wars going into this review, well then shame on you. Avoid at ALL costs!
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