First announced for a release in 2021 the following year, Amityville Bigfoot finally appeared earlier this year and just landed on Tubi a couple of days back. That meant I could cross one off of both my lists of movies entitled Amityville and about Bigfoot.
A secret research facility owned by the Amityville Chemical Company is where we first find ourselves; it looks like a hunter’s cabin though that must be part of their secrecy strategy. Ian (Shawn C. Phillips) is leading a group of researchers who are studying something large and hairy. It breaks free killing one of them and subsequently raping Annie (Lauren Francesca), setting up this fantastic conversation between Annie and Ian, “It went inside me!” “Gross.”
Meanwhile, somewhere else in the woods, there’s a film crew making what else a Bigfoot movie. Claude (Brandon Krum), the director has to deal with his leading lady Francesca, who behaves like a diva (Ashleeann Cittell) as well as his father Harv who also happens to be the producer (G Larry Butler). And that’s before the protesters demanding an end to Amityville movies show up.
Shawn C. Phillips stars in it but he also directed it along with Julie Anne Prescott (Camp Blood 666 Part 2: Exorcism of the Clown, Amityville Turkey Day) and suffice it to say that good luck trying to make sense out if it. It tries to pass itself off as politically incorrect comedy so we get Sasquatch rape jokes, scenes with Harv pouring an entire bottle of pills into his mouth then spitting them all over while threatening Claude he would throw him out from his basement, etc.,
But unfortunately none of it is really funny. Most of the alleged humor consists mainly people wandering around in forest screaming at each other like five-year-olds or telling each other to smell their shoe before going beyond the point of jokes about Bigfoot peeing and shitting on people, puppies being killed or what is supposed to be a hilarious scene of Trent Haaga (Teddy Told Me To, Blood Shed) getting sodomized with something other than Bigfoot’s penis.
Part of the problem is that much of the film’s cast couldn’t act if their lives depended on it. Amityville Bigfoot is just one more no budget movie that looks like every part was cast through pay for play. Filmmakers will tell you all day long how there are so many benefits to pay for play casting but there’s also no question about how it hurts the viewer especially when you have a lot of non talented actors trying to make a bad script work which is what happened here.
Consequently, despite all the jokes about women enjoying being raped, sexual harassment, and all the rest of it, Amityville Bigfoot wouldn’t even be offensive. It is merely plodding and feels as if an hour and half took forever. Even appearances late in the film by Eric Roberts (Darkness Of Man; Séance Games: Metaxu) and Tuesday Knight (A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master; The Rideshare Killer) can’t liven it up.
Effects do not happen, and the women and men are undressed in spite of the obsession with sex by the script. But can you hope for a Sasquatch who will give two little girls a golden shower or ten minutes of random videos to pad out the end of film?
I was hoping that it would be as much fun as Woods Witch, another movie by Phillips and Prescott. However, it turned out to be similar to their other collaboration Amityville Karen which is one of the worst movies I have seen this year.
Amityville Bigfoot has been released by SRS Cinema on various Digital Platforms. Alternatively, you can also order it on Blu-ray via their website however even watching it on Tubi is paying too much.
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