Mega Piranha
Everything Mega Piranha does is big butt and lots of blood so it’s not a surprise that the movie opens up with cheesy CGI piranhas out for blood and a half naked woman on the Orinoco River after the credits of the movie. But the piranha of these opening scenes are not Mega piranha but rather they are just ordinary so let us meet Marine biologist Tiffany to explain to us that the piranha of the Ordonez coalition are able to double their mass every 36 hours. Its never 100% clear why, only that they were part of an experiment on the optimization of wildlife sale.
The film does not even try to soften the blow by gradually unveiling the characters and locations in concern and I’m not talking about location and character development metaphors, it tries to use cutscenes like in popular video games, with subtitles over the screen and flashbacks with the monotony of black and white images typical of NCIS. The use of video game imagery does remove the need to even hope for decent quality CGI as well and somewhere around the very early days of PS2 should give you an idea of how the rather poor looking CGI is.
The CGI is bad in an asylum production. There is one scene where one can see some transparent CGI piranha tails sticking out of the water as they attack some poor chump. And that’s not the worst moment of the scene; the worst moment consists of the same terrified scientist who was on the bank of the river and who keeps being interrupted all the time. One of the most worn out moments from all the cut scenes.
In almost the middle of the movie there appears a rather ridiculous, yet in a way absolutely predictable, echo of Samuel L. Jackson in Deep Blue Sea which should have been done 5 years ago. It occurs when one of the scientists tells about some piranha troubles in the most foolish way by talking without turning towards the river, which is of course a big mistake! Always be aware of a Mega Piranha! And I have left the ‘references’ to Piranha 2 James Cameron would be respectful of.
In the case of these homages and other instances, the accents seem to come out of the blue as characters will start a conversation in English and switch to Spanish in mid-sentence and the subtitles will match it, doling out English and Spanish at next turns. Whether this was for illustration purposes and gags is still unanswered for many reasons, if that is the case, then I must say that they should be ashamed of themselves. Then there odd scientific mumbo jumbo apparently, according to Mega Piranha, if you suck on a mobile phone battery the acid in your saliva will give you an extra 10% charge. Is this true? I have no idea. But its the weirdest scene I’ve ever witnessed in a movie even in this movie!
Now I hope you’re sitting down for this, as this may shock you, but Mega Piranha is like Peter Jacksons Lord of the Rings: Return of the King in that has three endings with one every thirty minutes. Literally, The film is pure insanity even for one of The Asylums movies. There are scenes that scream spoof and then nedemes that scream serious tonally its all over the place. At least Mega Shark vs.
Giant Octopus appeared to be in on the joke, whereas Mega Piranha comes off too serious for what is supposed to be a camp flick and as such does not deliver the same FUN its predecessor did. here’s hoping The Asylum’s new movie Mega Python vs. Gatoroid featuring Tiffany and Debbie Gibson will succeed where this film has failed. Having said that It is hard to not admire a film that features a guy getting his mouth blown up by a flare gun.
Well, to mention that more favorable, we do not hear Tiffany’s song I Think We’re Alone Now as she does not perform it in the film but she does sing the last song Frozen Skies.
For More Movies Visit Putlocker.