This is an incredible story about a woman who is always left behind, stalked by her past and then transformed into one of resilient strength as it may be. As Staceyann Chin, the poet and activist, searches for her mother, we witness the author’s remarkable relationship with her own daughter Zuri and her coming of age as a grown woman who can acknowledge her mother’s imperfections.
Chin tells her story through digging into old photographs, shooting video as an adult, making online posts with Zuri and filming scenes with OYA Media Group and the NFB team under Laurie Townshend’s direction.
At nine years old, Staceyann was left in Jamaica by Hazel who moved to Montreal leaving her child in an unsafe situation with relatives who failed to protect her from predatory male cousins. For many years she lived with sadness and seething anger towards a mother who prioritized personal freedom over her daughter’s well-being or safety.
But talent ran through Staceyann. Two minutes into this documentary there’s a sequence where the charismatic poet turns spoken word artist is wailing about growing up lonely and sometimes scared while exhibiting an astonishing facility with language and performance. Her charm never lets go; it makes you want to watch documentaries about people like these passionate individuals whose stories are worth telling on film.
When Staceyann comes out as lesbian just before starting university in Jamaica where she faces homophobic harassment that forces Aher off the island she realizes New York City could be home because here is where she starts writing non-stop claiming to go after a career centered around lesbianism was what I wanted all along resulting successful playwright one-woman show performer award-winning poet which alone would inspire anyone.
Then she has a baby. The relationship between herself and precocious 2012-born Zuri is lovingly nourishing – this couldn’t have been further from true when it came down to dealing with Hazel (her own mom). We see nine-year-old Zuri at the beginning of the film reading a poem about why she loves her wild, curly hair Staceyann has had a major impact on teaching self-respect and racial pride to the girl. These points are illustrated even more strongly through excerpts taken during the pandemic from a video series called Living Room Protest, which they posted together.
Staceyann decides that it’s time to find her mother so she starts in Montreal where all happens to meet some neighbors who speak very highly of Hazel’s friend’s daughter –not appearing like there ever was a Staceyann neither does she seem to have been forgotten which only makes things worse for Stacey.
Throughout what unfolds as we continue following Chin on this journey to find her mother though other aspects begin surfacing as well. During process, many more things are learned about the person who abandoned her psychological state makeup and emotional capacity among others influenced greatly by those choices made throughout life, especially in terms of their effect on one’s ability to love deeply themselves or somebody else finally leading towards understanding what it means to be human showing mercy even if someone let us down terribly
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