Mega Shark Vs Crocosaurus

Mega Shark Vs Crocosaurus

I am a huge fan of the majestic, life changing and historically accurate (what?) Worlds Deadliest Warrior. This great show takes two warring tribes from history

and has them battle it out in a simulated war to the death. It all involves testing weapons of old on what they call ‘ballistic gel busts’ and, more importantly, pig carcasses. There is an outrageous quantity of blood and a downright insane amount of energetic movement, fist swinging and shouting. To summarize awesome TV.

Then I was given the opportunity to write a review on Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus I could not be more pleased. Unfortunately it took about 10 minutes for this omission of bliss to fade and bemused apathy and a slight case of gassiness took its place.

Our narrative isn’t even remotely more complex than what the title depicts. While illegally mining daimonian the central Africa, the miners inadvertently disturb and unleash the giant-sized crocodoid the Crocosaurus! In another part of the same statue, USS Gibson, in the Atlantic ocean, is attacked and sunk by one Mega Shark! The stage is set.

In Africa, a rather strange british-accented trophy hunter by the name of Nigel Putnam (Gary Stretch), succeeds in sedating and capturing the large sized Crocosaurus and arranges its shipment via a cargo vessel to an unknown destination. While in route, the Mega shark strikes! The Crocosuarus is freed! The epic conflict begins!

What we have here is a creature feature on a shoe string budget, combined with acting that can be used to pool a sandwich together, and special effects that make the graphics in the flight simulator from the krypton factor look truly realistic.

There are times when I think I could cackle to something classified as a terrible film, however, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus doesn’t cross the threshold to make me laugh. It is pertinent to note that I expected nothing more than a bare bones story junked up with scenes of overwhelming destruction by the large monstrosities. And more or less that’s exactly what you get. However,

the narrative parts are glossed over, riddled with obnoxious characters and the monster parts are so poorly animated that they have no menace whatsoever. Also, many of these scenes are repeated, especially near the end of the movie, and this only added to my apathy.

The most engaging elements of this movie include the unusual voice of Gary Stretch and the ill conceived size of the Mega Shark.

In his history of appearances on screen, Mr. Stretch has acted in several films and received a BIFA nomination for his work in Dead Man’s Shoes, showing some acting pedigree. His performance here however overacts on stationary helicopter cockpits (which is supposedly in the air), Kew Gardens intended to be in Africa and the Dorset coast standing in for the Miami beach (last two points are only assumptions of mine).

It is only logical to assume that the role of the British character should be played by a person from Britain, and that’s exactly what the casting director did. The problem is that they appear to have appointed the only British actor who has not yet learnt how to speak in English. Quite simply astonishing.

The Mega Shark has problems of its own. Its dorsal fin rises through the water, all the way to the moon it seems, and is larger than any standard. From the

As we look at the fin’s Scale the Mega Shark should be entirely destroying tidal waves in every direction with its tail with each and every motion. Luckily this shark hardly poses any threat to

Oceans surface mainly because that shark is NOT THERE. At any time however when the supreme shark makes a full appearance, it is always under circumstances where it becomes rather

I could mention a few scenes to highlight the ridiculousness and the mildly humorous element that resorts for the Machans, Maida and Maddy. Two or one of you, however, might wish to watch this, so I won’t reveal that. But really, all we are dealing with here are what little remains of each episode a few rather simplistic scenes interlaced into an overall flat and rather dull film. Maker never could think or imagine a film called Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus to be boring. Most importantly all those teeth imagined! But unfortunately, this film is never as great as the image on the cover and a jam tart.

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