Battle Earth
Every so often, a film comes along that offers nothing new. Such is the case with Aaron Hurmey’s directorial effort, “Battle Earth.” The movie unfolds in too much dullness and is full of poorly executed lines such as “Don’t shit on my chest and call it a tuxedo.” It’s easy to understand what the writer had in mind with these phrases, but it certainly didn’t come off that way.
Some of the scenes were not particularly perverse, but were not necessary for the plot either and were therefore irritating. For example, consider the sex scene. Quite simply, a man and woman lay naked on top of each other, but a lack of energy and movement fouled the scene. We urge you to witness this awkwardness for yourself. He was polite and nearly horizontal, attempting to shield her torso from the camera whilst a modest amount of faux nudity made amusing sounds. Shot after shot, one could sense Kurmey’s embarrassment.
The Kurmay brothers decided to capture the majority of the scenes in the film during the night. He performed it adequately because with what we saw, we were able to understand how to portray the story, though nothing more. There were moments when the camera was moved around and the focus was terrible, and I almost gave up 15 minutes into the film and that is nothing extraordinary.
You still have to carry on as I do not submit movie reviews for films that I haven’t fully watched (notice the pun). The chronology of events moved quite haphazardly. For instance, one minute, a soldier and his wife are watching a news program on aliens coming to attack the planet and before we know it, he is attempting to land a helicopter which in our case means a change of scene to a dense forest.
It is a film of low budget and production value, with both Aaron Kurmey and Ryan Hatt’s names attached as directors and writers respectively. the film’s edited content flows smoothly, and Everything in flaunts a predictable story. Sounds familiar? It gets better here; there are far worse screenplays which one is bound to come across in the future. We hear, in some of the clips, rants like, One doesn’t shit on my chest and call it a tuxedo which could only succeed in manipulating the audience’s emotions the very opposite that was intended: utter disgust.
There were, however, a few particularly awful moments that directly contributed to the ineffectiveness of the film. The sex scene in which one partner lies on top of the other, completely naked, was characterized by extreme laziness and inefficacy. It really is something that you have to experience for yourself.
He seemed to be in what some would describe as a gentleman-like position, her hands covering his exposed foul, gruesome, private parts, while our now conservative striptease, has her sound system blasting. It was as if Kurmey was the one blushing instead of Kurmay.
Kurmay filmed the majority of the movie in the dark, and when it came to this scene, it appears he did it reasonably well because he only captured the important parts for the narrative and left the less important ones alone. There were two camera movements that looked terrible, and I was ready to quit after 15 minutes of the film, but it is against my practice to compose reviews of the partially completed films.
There’s a war in heaven, and we can’t seem to win the Christmas lights. When his wife and he are sitting down to watch television news about the ETA of aliens, followed by him unsuccessfully attempting to steer a helicopter into the green area, the story timeline collapsed.
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