2012 Ice Age

2012 Ice Age

As much as hating their films seems appealing, there’s no denying that The Asylum is among the ever dwindling number of film studios who have not lost their focus on aiming low and achieving it. They truly are an exploitation studio for the new millennium. The films do leave quite a lot to be desired, but hey, The Asylum is all about being upfront about it. You’ve got to love that attitude.

Their most recent picture seems to be trying to hurl “epic” into everything including the kitchen sink, it is in its entirety, quite hilarious. I couldn’t help but smile quite a lot during its run. The movie isn’t exactly high art either even amongst its peers, it’s too stupid. But it is so stupid that it’s impossible for me to hate it.

2012: Ice Age is essentially a cheap rip-off of The Day After Tomorrow. The plot is unparalleled in its ridiculousness: volcanoes on Iceland cause a massive glacier to detach and rush towards the coast of the US at the speed of 200 miles per hour and destroy everything it touches. Woman, how in the world can Iceland produce a glacier that is much larger than the island, or how can that glacier sprint across a thousand six-hundred miles of an open sea without ever decelerating, but to entertain such trivial questions is most certainly foolish. To put it simply, this particular movie does suggest that this is much worse than The Day After Tomorrow.

Bill Hart the scientist Pilot, hops into the car, wishing his daughter a safe trip to the airport, only to communicate with a college located in the recently ravaged Iceland. As the US prepares to face a glacier ice Bill gathers his wife and teenage son and heads to New York to rescue the girl. As they struggle to get around the massive chunks of flying ice which the glacier has dislodged, enormous traffic jams and blinding electronic snowstorms, a hitchhiker who pulls a gun on them, cutaways show the military throwing bombing at the glacier to try and stop it from advancing further.

The screenplay and the editing, which may be a little confusing at times, goes well further adding to the difficulty in trying to comprehend the plot or how one shot connects to the next, for instance: a series of shots that precede a cut of the glacier impacting Newfoundland includes what appears to be an upscale mountainous region. Are there Alpiners in the eastern seaboard? Is there Switzerland in Canada?

Am I that much of a fool? Another sequence has the Japanese breathing mask wearing people shown in a wide shot of the emergency shelter. But when the heroes enter, the Japanese were gone, many suspects were in the shelter and no one had a breathing mask. Moreover, the idea to film several of the action scenes which were shot in the close up is also not very useful for the clarity of the events. At the same time, in relation to VFX everyone sees standard Asylum.

Lead man Labyorteaux often seems to be deep in thought, at least that’s what it looks like, without any pretense about how he even got here. Julie McCullough seems to kick off with an attempt at some chilling comedy acting before settling down to a role that is largely being a whiny passive observer. Afanasiev as the son does get a few chances to showcase one of his trademark pantomime poses of “OMG, look at that,” when he is reunited with his father.

I’m puzzled by the intention behind the film. Is it that the filmmakers are just poking fun at the Roland Emmerich brand of disaster movies or was the absurdity just born out of the somewhat slapdash approach to production? It is entertaining in a weird way whichever way you slice it, almost as if it is seeking to fit the phrase “So bad it’s good.

Looking at other Asylum disasters, Megafault was a little boring in my opinion. I was a little more entertained by 2012: Supernova. 2012: Ice Age however abducts and tortures both of those films in the most narratively creative way possible. This is a present for those that relish awful films.

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